Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My breastfeeding attempt (and failure)

I know this is a little late considering Keaton is now 16 months old but this discussion came up with some of my friends on Babycenter today. Typing out my story and sharing it seemed to lift a weight off of my shoulders, a weight that I didn't realize was there anymore, so I decided to share it here as well.

When Keaton was born I had every intention on breasfeeding. Sadly with a lack of knowledge and support it was a very hard experience for me. I could never get him to latch, I never imagined I would have problems so it's not like I did any research or anything. I pumped for a month but despite pumping multiple times a day I could never produce more than 3oz a day, of course that wasn't nearly enough for Keaton. He was eating 4oz every 3-4 hours. The emotional strain and physical pain (my nipples were cracked and bleeding, I cried every time I pumped) were taking a toll on me so I stopped. When Keaton was almost 6 weeks old he came down with RSV. I was convinced it was because he had a weak immune system from being formula fed but at that time I didn't know anything about using donated milk. He continued to get sick once a month and would be sick for atleast a week, sometimes two. I felt as though he spent more time sick than he did healthy.

I met my wonderful friend, Kristie, when Keaton was 4-5 months old. She is a crunchy mom and has a son 2 months younger than Keaton, we hit it off right away. In this time I learned about donor milk, that she had donated to another family and the idea started forming in my head. I didn't ask her though, I mean, how are you supposed to ask someone if you can have their breastmilk?! lol. When Keaotn got sick at 6 months old she asked me "have you ever thought about using donated milk? Would you use donated milk?" I told her yes but that I hadn't known how to bring it up to her. That same night she filled a lunchbox full of milk she had stored in her freezer and drove it over to us. Believe it or not, Keaton recovered from that cold quicker than he had recovered from any of his previous ones. She continued to give us milk for the next 6 months. He still got formula, but I would say probably 25% of his milk intake was breastmilk.

This time I know that I will probably have issues breastfeeding so I have armed myself with lots of research and have a great support system lined up, ready to help me through my problems. My advice to those who want to breastfeed but may have some problems is DON'T GIVE UP! I have so many mixed emotions and regrets about not trying hard enough, even to this day. There is a ton of help and support out there, contact your local LLL, find a lactation consultant, talk to other moms, someone can (and will) help!

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